彭蒙惠英语：20110110 MP3在线课程 A Confusion of Roles
A Confusion of Roles
by John Rosemond / (c) 2008, The Charlotte Observer (Charlotte, N.C.). Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.
Are moms giving their children too much attention?
A journalist recently asked me to name the No. 1 problem facing today's family. I think she expected me to address education, the economy or some other "hot" topic. To her surprise, I said, "a confusion of roles."
In today's parenting universe, married women with children think of themselves first and foremost as mothers, and married men with children think of themselves first and foremost as fathers. This is confusion. If you are married with children, you are first and foremost a wife or a husband. In your wedding vows, you did not say, "I take you to be my (husband, wife) until children do us part." Those vows, many generations old, read the way they do for a reason.
Does success depend on mom?
I've been telling recent audiences that parenting has become bad for the mental health of women. Today's all-too typical mother believes that whether her child experiences success or failure in whatever realm is completely up to her. If she is sufficiently attentive to her child's needs and sufficiently proactive in his life, he will succeed. If not, he will have problems. The natural consequence of this state of over-focus is anxiety, self-doubt and guilt.
Symptomatic of this ubiquitous state of bad mental health is mother-to-mother conversation,which will almost invariably be all about their children: what they're doing for their children, their children's latest magnificent accomplishments and so on. That today's mothers cannot seem to think of anything else to talk about is rather, well, sad.